Did I Forget To Pack Anything?
By: lar
The line from the old movies was always, "Did you remember to turn off the stove". This goes back to gas powered stoves and really doesn’t apply anymore.
But there are some electrical appliances you should turn off before you go. I always turn off my power strip that powers my computer, since it will be with me.
I shut off the microwave and any other electrical appliances that won't be needed for three weeks. About the only things I leave plugged in are the television, refrigerator, and stove. Of course, all the lights have power and are on a timer to make it appear like I am at home.
With numerous checklists, it is difficult for me to forget anything. I am a frequent traveler and use lists to ensure that I don’t forget anything important at home.
Technically, I could get by in Thailand with just my passport, plane tickets and an ATM card. But I do like to have some clothes, gifts, and most of my toiletries with me when I go.
Plus, with all my electronic gizmos, I need all kinds of chargers, power cords, and batteries or I won't be able to function. The computer, camera, DVD player, noise reduction headphones, and cell phone all need attention.
Having a detailed checklist makes it so much easier to travel and not forget anything. It may be a bit anal, but it works for me. It lists everything that I will need to bring for the 3 weeks, a list of gifts for friends, and also includes things I need to do before I depart.
This trip is a little different for me. Usually my son takes me to the airport and takes in my mail. However, he has moved to a city just outside of Las Vegas, so I am on my own.
I had to arrange for a shuttle to take me to the airport and fill out the little card for the post office to hold my mail.
I also have a list of items to buy as soon as I arrive in Thailand. This cuts down on some of the packing as the items I want, mainly toiletries, are cheap in Thailand.
I bring a minimum of clothing because I know that I will do some shopping over there. It just can't be helped. The prices are so cheap; you just have to buy some goodies for yourself, family and friends. I hate shopping with a passion, but love to bargain over the Land of Smiles.
It is much easier when you have everything written down. As I get older, I tend to forget the simplest of things. So, a travel checklist works for me. If I just had to rely on my memory, I know that I would forget something.
Article Source: http://www.superfeature.com
Walking Street is the place to go for great food and drink and some of the most beautiful women in the world.
Submitted by: Free Article Marketer
วันอังคารที่ 29 มกราคม พ.ศ. 2551
วันอังคารที่ 15 มกราคม พ.ศ. 2551
Car hire
Car hire
By: pennies
Nantes city is the sixth largest in France. It is a city in western France, located on the Loire River. The quality of life surveys it the best city in France in which to live. Nantes has been made a major economic development centre. In the late 20th century, air, road, and rail communications were being extended, and vast industrial zones was being built.
Nantes is also known for its crepes. The Passage Pommeraye which is a small shopping mall is located by the river. It is a small passageway between two streets that has been turned into a highly impressive shopping centre. It is named after its developer, Louis Pommeraye. The building took three years and was completed in 1843. It is covered with a glass ceiling and consists of three levels of shopping galleries. But the Rue Crebillon is the main street to shop.
Many pubs and cafes with live music can be found around the city centre. Nantes bars and pubs are mainly concentrated around the place du Pilori place du Bouffay, and rue Kervagen.
The city has blossomed into a regional gay and lesbian capital boasting a surprisingly large number of restaurants, dance clubs, gay bars, and shops, as well as a gay film festival, a sauna, and several gay and lesbian associations.
Nantes is the proud birth place of the world famous Jules Verne who wrote the classic science fiction stories of Around the World in Eighty Days and Journey to the Centre of the Earth The museum is full with memorabilia and is a gathering place for his many admiring fans.
Nantes is about 30-45 minutes from the beach. If you are there at the right time of the year probably no earlier than May or June feel free to take a day trip to La Baule. La Baule's has five miles of white sandy beach provides the perfect place and a superb promenade.
From the square of the Castle of Nantes you can enter the castle. The castle of Nantes, was built in 1466 until 1491. You can walk around the walls of the castle, the main square inside the castle and visit rooms inside the castle and go into the Salorge museum. It features magnificent towers, impressive moats and fascinating museums displaying information on art, culture and local history. Much of its interior was redone in 1466 by Froancois II, Duke of Britanny.
Article Source: http://www.superfeature.com
Doug writes for sites including Car hire in France from 121.
By: pennies
Nantes city is the sixth largest in France. It is a city in western France, located on the Loire River. The quality of life surveys it the best city in France in which to live. Nantes has been made a major economic development centre. In the late 20th century, air, road, and rail communications were being extended, and vast industrial zones was being built.
Nantes is also known for its crepes. The Passage Pommeraye which is a small shopping mall is located by the river. It is a small passageway between two streets that has been turned into a highly impressive shopping centre. It is named after its developer, Louis Pommeraye. The building took three years and was completed in 1843. It is covered with a glass ceiling and consists of three levels of shopping galleries. But the Rue Crebillon is the main street to shop.
Many pubs and cafes with live music can be found around the city centre. Nantes bars and pubs are mainly concentrated around the place du Pilori place du Bouffay, and rue Kervagen.
The city has blossomed into a regional gay and lesbian capital boasting a surprisingly large number of restaurants, dance clubs, gay bars, and shops, as well as a gay film festival, a sauna, and several gay and lesbian associations.
Nantes is the proud birth place of the world famous Jules Verne who wrote the classic science fiction stories of Around the World in Eighty Days and Journey to the Centre of the Earth The museum is full with memorabilia and is a gathering place for his many admiring fans.
Nantes is about 30-45 minutes from the beach. If you are there at the right time of the year probably no earlier than May or June feel free to take a day trip to La Baule. La Baule's has five miles of white sandy beach provides the perfect place and a superb promenade.
From the square of the Castle of Nantes you can enter the castle. The castle of Nantes, was built in 1466 until 1491. You can walk around the walls of the castle, the main square inside the castle and visit rooms inside the castle and go into the Salorge museum. It features magnificent towers, impressive moats and fascinating museums displaying information on art, culture and local history. Much of its interior was redone in 1466 by Froancois II, Duke of Britanny.
Article Source: http://www.superfeature.com
Doug writes for sites including Car hire in France from 121.
วันศุกร์ที่ 11 มกราคม พ.ศ. 2551
Life without plastic in Thailand
Life without plastic in Thailand
By: lar
I was a soldier stationed in Bangkok, Thailand back in the early 1970's. Not always having a bunch of money, I used to eat food from the local street vendors. Most of my meals were served wrapped in either a banana leaf or yesterday's newspaper. Some meals were even served off of unclassified military paperwork that was recovered from the rubbish.
Nowadays, everywhere in Thailand the vast majority of street vendors serve food and drink in plastic bags. McDonalds has nothing on this fast food experience.
Whatever you order, be it a rice or noodle dish, is scooped up into a plastic bag and then sealed with a rubber band. This also includes soups and drinks.
Smaller bags of sauces and spices are also provided. You can even get fresh sliced fruit to go in a small bag with a skewer to stab each sweet morsel.
Shopping on the streets, markets, and malls will also expose you to bags and bags of plastic. It doesn’t matter what the size of the item, it will go in a plastic bag.
I have had numerous occasions where I acquired a large plastic bag to hold a variety of articles and each successive purchase resulted in a small plastic bag being put into the larger. Despite my objections that the smaller plastic bag was not required, I was turned away with a confused look and a smile.
Needles to say, after a day or two in Thailand, you tend to acquire a pile of plastic bags. I do manage to use a couple of them for dirty laundry or to keep items separated, but most of the plastic goes straight into the trash.
I really don’t know what the Thai people would do today without plastic bags. If the tree-hugging environmentalists ever came to Thailand, they wouldn’t know what to do.
Where would they put their sticky rice and beef jerky?
How would vendors sell coke to go?
How would the bootleg software and DVDs be distributed?
How would I get my bowl of Thai soup home?
Would they be able to revert back to banana leaves and yesterday's newspapers?
I don’t think that the Thai people could live without plastic bags. And any attempt o stop the usage would result in disastrous results.
Article Source: http://www.superfeature.com
Larry Westfall is a frequent traveler to Pattaya and saves money booking his hotel through Pattaya-AccommodationsSubmitted by: Article Submitter
By: lar
I was a soldier stationed in Bangkok, Thailand back in the early 1970's. Not always having a bunch of money, I used to eat food from the local street vendors. Most of my meals were served wrapped in either a banana leaf or yesterday's newspaper. Some meals were even served off of unclassified military paperwork that was recovered from the rubbish.
Nowadays, everywhere in Thailand the vast majority of street vendors serve food and drink in plastic bags. McDonalds has nothing on this fast food experience.
Whatever you order, be it a rice or noodle dish, is scooped up into a plastic bag and then sealed with a rubber band. This also includes soups and drinks.
Smaller bags of sauces and spices are also provided. You can even get fresh sliced fruit to go in a small bag with a skewer to stab each sweet morsel.
Shopping on the streets, markets, and malls will also expose you to bags and bags of plastic. It doesn’t matter what the size of the item, it will go in a plastic bag.
I have had numerous occasions where I acquired a large plastic bag to hold a variety of articles and each successive purchase resulted in a small plastic bag being put into the larger. Despite my objections that the smaller plastic bag was not required, I was turned away with a confused look and a smile.
Needles to say, after a day or two in Thailand, you tend to acquire a pile of plastic bags. I do manage to use a couple of them for dirty laundry or to keep items separated, but most of the plastic goes straight into the trash.
I really don’t know what the Thai people would do today without plastic bags. If the tree-hugging environmentalists ever came to Thailand, they wouldn’t know what to do.
Where would they put their sticky rice and beef jerky?
How would vendors sell coke to go?
How would the bootleg software and DVDs be distributed?
How would I get my bowl of Thai soup home?
Would they be able to revert back to banana leaves and yesterday's newspapers?
I don’t think that the Thai people could live without plastic bags. And any attempt o stop the usage would result in disastrous results.
Article Source: http://www.superfeature.com
Larry Westfall is a frequent traveler to Pattaya and saves money booking his hotel through Pattaya-AccommodationsSubmitted by: Article Submitter
วันพฤหัสบดีที่ 10 มกราคม พ.ศ. 2551
airline cheap dirt ticket
airline cheap dirt ticket
By: Michael M1
Time to get started on this topic. Take a few moments to read every aspect of this paper hopefully it will be of great help.
Airlines are well thought out as one of the best ways for a person to get from destination point A to destination point B. There are dissimilar levels of comfort that we can get from our air travel. This level of comfort depends for the most part on the character of ticket that we have paid for. Some airlines offer airline cheap dirt ticket packages and interesting monetary value offers to entice low budget travelers to fly on their flights.
While you may have to hound round for the best deal that you can get from these unlike airlines you will see the various packages, low price tickets, and no frills airline cheap dirt ticket prices as well. This entropy gathering can be quite an useful as many of us lean to stick with one or two airlines that we know about.
For the person who is on a low budget or person who is feel adventurous, devising travel plans with an airline that is offering airline cheap dirt ticket prices and packages is the best way to get our holidays started. The first and foremost ground will be the amount of money that has been saved with booking airline tickets from an airway that is offer dirt inexpensive tickets.
When you have in the final analysis elect the airline that will give you the best deal you must see about securing the rest of your travel plans. This usually way preparation your agenda so that you can leave for your holidays with a minimum number of trouble. Likewise acquiring your travel dates and hotels booked you will need to see about securing your airline reservations.
As you are looking through the many details for your flight schedule you should confirm if you are acquiring an airline cheap dirt ticket price. Any discrepancies in the sum of money of money that you will have to give should be fixed before you at last give the full amount of the various tickets.
Since many airlines have inexpensive tickets to admit their diverse customers you can always be sure that you are passing to be able to find such an airline cheap dirt ticket as well. Whether you will want to continue your journeying with these types of tickets will depend on the serving that you receive on these airlines. This clause was written to provide you with knowledge about the subject I appreciate you taking your time to read it.
Article Source: http://www.superfeature.com
Michael Malega presents several airline cheap dirt ticket articles for your information. You can visit Michael's web place here airline cheap dirt ticket
By: Michael M1
Time to get started on this topic. Take a few moments to read every aspect of this paper hopefully it will be of great help.
Airlines are well thought out as one of the best ways for a person to get from destination point A to destination point B. There are dissimilar levels of comfort that we can get from our air travel. This level of comfort depends for the most part on the character of ticket that we have paid for. Some airlines offer airline cheap dirt ticket packages and interesting monetary value offers to entice low budget travelers to fly on their flights.
While you may have to hound round for the best deal that you can get from these unlike airlines you will see the various packages, low price tickets, and no frills airline cheap dirt ticket prices as well. This entropy gathering can be quite an useful as many of us lean to stick with one or two airlines that we know about.
For the person who is on a low budget or person who is feel adventurous, devising travel plans with an airline that is offering airline cheap dirt ticket prices and packages is the best way to get our holidays started. The first and foremost ground will be the amount of money that has been saved with booking airline tickets from an airway that is offer dirt inexpensive tickets.
When you have in the final analysis elect the airline that will give you the best deal you must see about securing the rest of your travel plans. This usually way preparation your agenda so that you can leave for your holidays with a minimum number of trouble. Likewise acquiring your travel dates and hotels booked you will need to see about securing your airline reservations.
As you are looking through the many details for your flight schedule you should confirm if you are acquiring an airline cheap dirt ticket price. Any discrepancies in the sum of money of money that you will have to give should be fixed before you at last give the full amount of the various tickets.
Since many airlines have inexpensive tickets to admit their diverse customers you can always be sure that you are passing to be able to find such an airline cheap dirt ticket as well. Whether you will want to continue your journeying with these types of tickets will depend on the serving that you receive on these airlines. This clause was written to provide you with knowledge about the subject I appreciate you taking your time to read it.
Article Source: http://www.superfeature.com
Michael Malega presents several airline cheap dirt ticket articles for your information. You can visit Michael's web place here airline cheap dirt ticket
วันอังคารที่ 8 มกราคม พ.ศ. 2551
Passport Information - Find Out About The Current Specifications
Passport Information - Find Out About The Current Specifications
By: Paul Zayer
Better get the latest information about your passport if you are thinking about travelling in the near future. Air travel between the United States and Canada has altered in the last few months and it's got some individual hurrying to acquire a passeport. If you've been over the border by air previously you know that you could get by with only a birth certificate and driver's license. That is not the case anymore and if you're seeking for passport information there's plenty to be found on Internet.
If a person decides to apply for one of these official government papers there's a few things they are going to require. One is an original of their confirmation of citizenship. For most of us this means a birth certificate. For others it may be their citizenship or immigration papers. All passport information web site will reiterate this issue, so get that document before you even start the application process. In case you misplaced or lost your birth certificate, you'll require to replace it first before you apply for a passport.
Pictures are naturally necessary when you want to get a passport. Unfortunately you can't take a beauty shot so you look fabulous in the image. There are very specific rules on the size of the photo and how you can look. The government's passport information describes these rules and it is best to visit a photo store that specializes in passport images. The cost is minimal and you know that the photos will be suitable.
If this is your first time applying, you are going to have to make an appearance in person. Beside the items mentioned above, don't forget your driver's license and the application form. The form itself is not difficult to complete and there are detailed directions that come in the passport information that accompanies it. There is also a telephone number included in those documents that you can call if you are stuck.
You need to have a bit of patience after applying. It takes substantial time for the government to assess the request, print the passport and get it to you. Once you have got it in your hands it will be valid for many years, and when you renew the process is simpler and can be done through the mail.
A lot of us do have questions when it comes to apply for and renewing this important piece of identification. Calling the right government division for passport information is surely the best route to go when you have questions, but as with most government offices, set aside some time to be put on hold. With everyone in need for a passport, you can only imagine how often their telephone rings.
Article Source: http://www.superfeature.com
This well known author is an Internet buff and likes sharing his information with others. Learn more now about Travel and regarding Passport Information review at his website Sportsonlineguide.com
By: Paul Zayer
Better get the latest information about your passport if you are thinking about travelling in the near future. Air travel between the United States and Canada has altered in the last few months and it's got some individual hurrying to acquire a passeport. If you've been over the border by air previously you know that you could get by with only a birth certificate and driver's license. That is not the case anymore and if you're seeking for passport information there's plenty to be found on Internet.
If a person decides to apply for one of these official government papers there's a few things they are going to require. One is an original of their confirmation of citizenship. For most of us this means a birth certificate. For others it may be their citizenship or immigration papers. All passport information web site will reiterate this issue, so get that document before you even start the application process. In case you misplaced or lost your birth certificate, you'll require to replace it first before you apply for a passport.
Pictures are naturally necessary when you want to get a passport. Unfortunately you can't take a beauty shot so you look fabulous in the image. There are very specific rules on the size of the photo and how you can look. The government's passport information describes these rules and it is best to visit a photo store that specializes in passport images. The cost is minimal and you know that the photos will be suitable.
If this is your first time applying, you are going to have to make an appearance in person. Beside the items mentioned above, don't forget your driver's license and the application form. The form itself is not difficult to complete and there are detailed directions that come in the passport information that accompanies it. There is also a telephone number included in those documents that you can call if you are stuck.
You need to have a bit of patience after applying. It takes substantial time for the government to assess the request, print the passport and get it to you. Once you have got it in your hands it will be valid for many years, and when you renew the process is simpler and can be done through the mail.
A lot of us do have questions when it comes to apply for and renewing this important piece of identification. Calling the right government division for passport information is surely the best route to go when you have questions, but as with most government offices, set aside some time to be put on hold. With everyone in need for a passport, you can only imagine how often their telephone rings.
Article Source: http://www.superfeature.com
This well known author is an Internet buff and likes sharing his information with others. Learn more now about Travel and regarding Passport Information review at his website Sportsonlineguide.com
วันพุธที่ 2 มกราคม พ.ศ. 2551
Experiences from 'The Flow' (17) - Farang: Further Interpretation. Lopsided Scales.
Experiences from 'The Flow' (17) - Farang: Further Interpretation. Lopsided Scales.
by Carl "J.C." Pantejo
By Carl "J.C." Pantejo, Copyright March 2008
(Author "My Friend Yu - The Prosperity Mentor," Copyright August 2007. Pantejo - Y.N. Vurce Publishing.)
"Prosperity: The eternal flow of all that's good in life..."
*Below is the seventeenth episode in a series of real life events experienced by the author. The only deviations from the truth may be the names of people and places. These stories are also incorporated in "My Friend Yu - the Prosperity Mentor: Book II," Pantejo - Y.N. Vurce Publishing. Release Date: 2008.
In "Experiences from 'The Flow' (16)...," we looked at Neutral Relationships (i.e., when you put the Pluses and Minuses on Your Satisfaction Scale, the scale was balanced).
We discussed why so many people stay in such relationships. Then, we investigated Fear vs. Desire and the futility of trying to change another's basic character.
The final verdict/recommendation?
Neutral Relationships are not worth the time, effort, money, and emotions expended.
In this article, we delve into the first (of the other two) Scale configurations: Blatant Incompatibility.
- Blatant Incompatibility: A "no-brainer"? -
...If the Minuses on Your Satisfaction Scale vastly outnumber the Pluses, the picture is obvious: Gross Incompatibility.
It should be a "no-brainer".
You would think everyone would automatically avoid Incompatible Relationships, or at least exit them immediately when identified; but unfortunately, they don't.
Even the most "sensible" among us can get stuck in an obviously Incompatible Relationship. It becomes a painful, lose/win situation.
How does this happen?
As Dr. Steven Covey says, "Common sense is not always common practice."
- The Specter of Fear -
The fear of loneliness (discussed in "Experiences from 'The Flow' [16]..."), keeps people in Neutral Relationships. This same type of fear (albeit in a larger amount and at a much stronger intensity) locks others into Incompatible Relationships.
Next in line is the fear of Replacement Failure; that is, the fear of failing to replace their current partner.
Many people stay within an Incompatible Relationship because they think the prospects of replacing their partner are bleak - no matter how incompatible their current partner may be.
Of course, this is nonsense! In fact, pure strangers have a better compatibility level than their current Minus-heavy partner.
Nevertheless, people locked into Incompatible Relationships are convinced that "What I've got is the best I can get - ever!"
If this describes you, I urge you to read my article, "Remember Who You Are!" In it, you will see that you are a special individual with unique gifts.
And you deserve to be happy.
- A no-win situation -
I have worked with many fellow Farang (Thai: foreigner) English teachers who are coupled with abusive Thai wives or girlfriends.
These teachers would show up for work with deep scratch marks on their faces, black eyes, and bruises (blatant evidence of a night spent quarrelling with the "little woman").
When asked, they confess that their home-life is akin to a schizophrenic war zone, feeling like they have to walk an emotional tightrope as soon as they enter their own houses.
Many times, they tell me that work is more relaxing than being at home.
Huh? I want to grab them by the shoulders and shout, "Dude! Wake up! That vampire is sucking the life out of you!"
The fights are over the same things, week after week (e.g., money, infidelity, relatives, friends, etc.). No permanent solution is ever reached. No resolutions are made.
And the fight/strained silence/make-up/fight cycle continues.
"It's like listening to a broken record - over and over again," my friend says, looking much like the desperate mouse caught in a mousetrap.
Several of them try to cope by escaping - temporarily. For respite, they flee to the tourist areas and bars of Bangkok. But the foray into what their partners perceive as "Bar Girl/Hooker Heaven" just fuels the fire for the next, inevitable fight.
- The Money Issue...again! -
Even if no shenanigans were committed, the resentment over money "wasted" becomes the central issue.
Veterans of Thailand and Western/Asian relationships will wholeheartedly agree with the following Farang/Thai Money Axiom:
It makes no difference if she has a job or business (or that her only source of money is you), "Her money is her money and your money is her money!"
In a traditional Thai couple setup, a "good husband" forks over his wages to the wife.
Or, if living in someone else's home (e.g., her family's house), the money is given to the eldest for his/her "wise management".
As stated in "Experiences from "The Flow" (10)...," never forget the unyielding rules about Family, and Money:
1. Asians survive mainly through Family connections
2. Logically, if you are not considered "Family," you are not significant to their survival; therefore, not of any vital importance. (I call it the "If you ain't family, you ain't $hi+" rule).
3. To be fully considered "Family," financial support is expected/demanded.
4. Money is not just "money" in Asia; it means EVERYTHING (life/death, love/hate, marriage/bachelorhood, happiness/sadness, etc.)
Because of these conditions, Farang and Thai men alike end up "sheltering" their personal "fun money" from the prying eyes of their partner and partner's family.
That's why it's common to have multiple bank accounts from unrelated financial institutions.
Personally, I have four of them.
- Crime and Punishment -
After a few drinks at a pub (or, heaven forbid, a late day at the office), when a Farang comes home:
It doesn't matter if the Farang did or did not "be a good boy" (i.e., simply relaxed with friends/colleagues, had a Western style meal, enjoyed some drinks and English conversation, etc.), he is guilty until proven innocent as soon as he walks through his front door.
Again, it's a no-win situation.
Finally, after repeatedly being "punished for an uncommitted crime," many Farangs simply decide, "Why not? I might as well do the crime!"
- A Tale of Two Farangs -
Currently, two of my co-workers are deeply embroiled in abusive, Incompatible Relationships.
It is not within the scope of this article to investigate the complex dynamics of chronic abuse/relationship cycles. But suffice it to say that when all is said and done, there are only two options: Stay or Go.
And that's exactly what each one of my co-workers is doing. One is staying and one is going.
- Staying -
The "Staying" one tells me he's "trying to work it out" (meaning: for one reason or another, he thinks he can manage/tolerate the current situation and change the picture of his Scale). In my experience (and statistically), his chances are slim to none.
He and his situation remind me of the following story:
- The Hound on the Porch -
A traveling salesman happens upon a country farm house and decides to sell his wares to the occupants of the home. He walks onto the wooden porch and knocks on the front door.
Before the door opens, the salesman hears the moaning of a hound dog sprawled out on the far end of the porch. It sounds miserable.
The dog appears to be in pain. The poor thing looks pathetic. It doesn't even lift its head while whining.
The door opens and a farmer greets the salesman.
"Hello stranger. What 'cha peddling?" says the farmer.
"Many things that I'd like to show you, but I must ask you something first. I love pets and have two dogs at home. That's why I couldn't help noticing your dog over there. He seems to be in pain. He just lays there, whines, and moans. Is he okay?"
"Oh you mean Sam over there? He's just moaning because he's lying on a couple of nails that stick out of my porch," says the farmer.
"Why doesn't he just move? Is he paralyzed?" says the perplexed salesman.
"Oh, no. He's still a great 'coon huntin' hound dog. Why he ain't movin'? Simple. You see, son, I reckon he ain't hurtin' enough yet," says the farmer.
(Like the hound dog, I guess my friend "ain't hurtin' enough yet".)
Oh well, it's his life.
And as I explained in the last article ("Experiences from 'The Flow' [16]..."), it's a supreme exercise in futility to try to change anyone. Any change in any person must be self-directed.
In my friend's case, sooner or later, something must give.
I predict that when the pain of staying grossly overshadows the effort of going (i.e., "he's hurtin' enough"), he will end the relationship.
But will he learn anything from it? I don't know.
Unfortunately, experts (psychiatrists, psychologists, social workers, etc.) will tell you that recidivism (the tendency to return to an abusive relationship or habit) is high among abused boyfriends and girlfriends.
- Going -
The "Going" friend has come to terms with the reality of his situation: an incompatible, abusive relationship that holds no hope in changing for the better.
Additionally, since my friend is a young man with no college degree, he is concerned about the future of his son.
He could work towards beefing up his resume/C.V with a teaching degree and a Thai teaching license. That would surely open the door to much higher paying jobs.
But it would be a huge challenge to attempt a college degree and license on his current English teaching salary.
He doubts that Thailand is the place he wants his child to grow up in.
Staying in Thailand would relegate him and his son to the lifestyle of the Thai middle (to lower) class.
Compared to England, Thailand is minus much of the amenities of modern living. (For examples of the differences in Western vs. Asian standards of living, please see "Experiences from 'The Flow' [7] and [8]).
The Thai Governmental Educational system especially, can not compete with the West for encouraging creative thinking and individual problem-solving.
In Thailand, Private/International schools are very, very expensive (and in my opinion, provide a much lower quality education than Western public schools).
Health insurance is something new among middle-class employees in Thailand.
But my friend's health insurance would be considered primitive by Western standards. I remember him complaining that the birth of his son and subsequent check-ups are eating him alive since they aren't covered by his insurance.
So, if my friend stays in Thailand, public school for his son and emergency-only, low-cost healthcare will be their fate.
Personally, I applaud him. It takes courage to face up to life and do something about it.
So, in less than a week, he is leaving for his home country. Also, unlike many other foreigners who father a child then vanish into thin air, he's doing the loving and honorable thing: He is taking his half-Thai/half-British son with him.
I foresee a much better future for him and his son.
The son will no longer be witness to daily arguments between his parents. He will be surrounded by my friend's family for care and support. And he will benefit from the higher standard of living and education in England.
Likewise, my friend will have a thousand more opportunities open to him in England for success.
Continued in "Experiences from 'The Flow' (18): A Good Tilt with a Bar Girl?" "Until next time, find 'The Flow' and jump in!"
Your Friend in this Intrepid Journey called Life,
Carl "J.C." Pantejo
Farang, Asia, neutral, incompatible, fear, desire, relationship, pluses, minuses, stay, go, satisfaction, scale, needs, desires.
Note: If you want to read more about Asian and Western cultural differences, finding unconditional love, exorcising past personal demons, and the Illusive Secret of Happiness, please read the following articles:
"Experiences from 'The Flow': From Heartbreak to Happiness"
"Experiences from 'The Flow' (2): Coincidence or Synchronicity: FROM RELAPSE TO MIRACLES..."
"Experiences from 'The Flow' (3): LOST AND FOUND - Kindred Spirits and Mistakes made in Haste."
"Experiences from 'The Flow' (4): LOST AND FOUND - Meant to Be?"
"Experiences from 'The Flow' (5): "The Stray"
"Experiences from 'The Flow' (6): "New Beginnings, Old Endings"
"Experiences from 'The Flow' (7) - Living Well? Farangs and Finance: The Myth"
"Experiences from 'The Flow' (8) Living Well? Farangs and Finance: The Reality, Stupidity, and Hard Knocks."
"Experiences from 'The Flow' (9): New Girlfriend, New Life."
"Experiences from 'The Flow' (10): Farangs and Asians - Polarized Views."
"Experiences from 'The Flow' (11) - Farangs: In (or considering) a long-term Western/Asian Relationship? Read This Now!
"Experiences from 'The Flow' (12) - Farang: Square Peg, Round Hole? Compatibility Issues."
"Experiences from 'The Flow' (13) - Farang: Compatibility Issues II"
"Experiences from 'The Flow' (14) - Farang: Tipping the Scales. Good or Bad?"
"Experiences from 'The Flow' (15) - Farang: Interpretation of Your Results."
"Experiences from 'The Flow' (16) - Farang: Make Your Scale Sway or Walk Away."
"How Dare She! Out of Desperation I Learned How to Forgive"
"Remember Who You Are!"
"Need to Heal Your Broken Heart? Read on. Overcome Heartbreak and Learn the Illusive Secret of Happiness." (By Carl "J.C." Pantejo and published internet-wide, keyword: [title of article] or "Carl Pantejo")
Pantejo@ynvurcepublishing.com
About the Author
He is a retired U.S. Military veteran. Believing that school was too boring, he dropped out of High School early; only to earn an A.A., B.S., and MBA in less than 4 years much later in life - while working full-time as a Navy/Marine Corps Medic. In spite of a fear of heights and deep water, he free-fall parachuted out of airplanes and performed diving ops in very deep, open ocean water.
Pantejo@ynvurcepublishing.com http://www.ynvurcepublishing.com
by Carl "J.C." Pantejo
By Carl "J.C." Pantejo, Copyright March 2008
(Author "My Friend Yu - The Prosperity Mentor," Copyright August 2007. Pantejo - Y.N. Vurce Publishing.)
"Prosperity: The eternal flow of all that's good in life..."
*Below is the seventeenth episode in a series of real life events experienced by the author. The only deviations from the truth may be the names of people and places. These stories are also incorporated in "My Friend Yu - the Prosperity Mentor: Book II," Pantejo - Y.N. Vurce Publishing. Release Date: 2008.
In "Experiences from 'The Flow' (16)...," we looked at Neutral Relationships (i.e., when you put the Pluses and Minuses on Your Satisfaction Scale, the scale was balanced).
We discussed why so many people stay in such relationships. Then, we investigated Fear vs. Desire and the futility of trying to change another's basic character.
The final verdict/recommendation?
Neutral Relationships are not worth the time, effort, money, and emotions expended.
In this article, we delve into the first (of the other two) Scale configurations: Blatant Incompatibility.
- Blatant Incompatibility: A "no-brainer"? -
...If the Minuses on Your Satisfaction Scale vastly outnumber the Pluses, the picture is obvious: Gross Incompatibility.
It should be a "no-brainer".
You would think everyone would automatically avoid Incompatible Relationships, or at least exit them immediately when identified; but unfortunately, they don't.
Even the most "sensible" among us can get stuck in an obviously Incompatible Relationship. It becomes a painful, lose/win situation.
How does this happen?
As Dr. Steven Covey says, "Common sense is not always common practice."
- The Specter of Fear -
The fear of loneliness (discussed in "Experiences from 'The Flow' [16]..."), keeps people in Neutral Relationships. This same type of fear (albeit in a larger amount and at a much stronger intensity) locks others into Incompatible Relationships.
Next in line is the fear of Replacement Failure; that is, the fear of failing to replace their current partner.
Many people stay within an Incompatible Relationship because they think the prospects of replacing their partner are bleak - no matter how incompatible their current partner may be.
Of course, this is nonsense! In fact, pure strangers have a better compatibility level than their current Minus-heavy partner.
Nevertheless, people locked into Incompatible Relationships are convinced that "What I've got is the best I can get - ever!"
If this describes you, I urge you to read my article, "Remember Who You Are!" In it, you will see that you are a special individual with unique gifts.
And you deserve to be happy.
- A no-win situation -
I have worked with many fellow Farang (Thai: foreigner) English teachers who are coupled with abusive Thai wives or girlfriends.
These teachers would show up for work with deep scratch marks on their faces, black eyes, and bruises (blatant evidence of a night spent quarrelling with the "little woman").
When asked, they confess that their home-life is akin to a schizophrenic war zone, feeling like they have to walk an emotional tightrope as soon as they enter their own houses.
Many times, they tell me that work is more relaxing than being at home.
Huh? I want to grab them by the shoulders and shout, "Dude! Wake up! That vampire is sucking the life out of you!"
The fights are over the same things, week after week (e.g., money, infidelity, relatives, friends, etc.). No permanent solution is ever reached. No resolutions are made.
And the fight/strained silence/make-up/fight cycle continues.
"It's like listening to a broken record - over and over again," my friend says, looking much like the desperate mouse caught in a mousetrap.
Several of them try to cope by escaping - temporarily. For respite, they flee to the tourist areas and bars of Bangkok. But the foray into what their partners perceive as "Bar Girl/Hooker Heaven" just fuels the fire for the next, inevitable fight.
- The Money Issue...again! -
Even if no shenanigans were committed, the resentment over money "wasted" becomes the central issue.
Veterans of Thailand and Western/Asian relationships will wholeheartedly agree with the following Farang/Thai Money Axiom:
It makes no difference if she has a job or business (or that her only source of money is you), "Her money is her money and your money is her money!"
In a traditional Thai couple setup, a "good husband" forks over his wages to the wife.
Or, if living in someone else's home (e.g., her family's house), the money is given to the eldest for his/her "wise management".
As stated in "Experiences from "The Flow" (10)...," never forget the unyielding rules about Family, and Money:
1. Asians survive mainly through Family connections
2. Logically, if you are not considered "Family," you are not significant to their survival; therefore, not of any vital importance. (I call it the "If you ain't family, you ain't $hi+" rule).
3. To be fully considered "Family," financial support is expected/demanded.
4. Money is not just "money" in Asia; it means EVERYTHING (life/death, love/hate, marriage/bachelorhood, happiness/sadness, etc.)
Because of these conditions, Farang and Thai men alike end up "sheltering" their personal "fun money" from the prying eyes of their partner and partner's family.
That's why it's common to have multiple bank accounts from unrelated financial institutions.
Personally, I have four of them.
- Crime and Punishment -
After a few drinks at a pub (or, heaven forbid, a late day at the office), when a Farang comes home:
It doesn't matter if the Farang did or did not "be a good boy" (i.e., simply relaxed with friends/colleagues, had a Western style meal, enjoyed some drinks and English conversation, etc.), he is guilty until proven innocent as soon as he walks through his front door.
Again, it's a no-win situation.
Finally, after repeatedly being "punished for an uncommitted crime," many Farangs simply decide, "Why not? I might as well do the crime!"
- A Tale of Two Farangs -
Currently, two of my co-workers are deeply embroiled in abusive, Incompatible Relationships.
It is not within the scope of this article to investigate the complex dynamics of chronic abuse/relationship cycles. But suffice it to say that when all is said and done, there are only two options: Stay or Go.
And that's exactly what each one of my co-workers is doing. One is staying and one is going.
- Staying -
The "Staying" one tells me he's "trying to work it out" (meaning: for one reason or another, he thinks he can manage/tolerate the current situation and change the picture of his Scale). In my experience (and statistically), his chances are slim to none.
He and his situation remind me of the following story:
- The Hound on the Porch -
A traveling salesman happens upon a country farm house and decides to sell his wares to the occupants of the home. He walks onto the wooden porch and knocks on the front door.
Before the door opens, the salesman hears the moaning of a hound dog sprawled out on the far end of the porch. It sounds miserable.
The dog appears to be in pain. The poor thing looks pathetic. It doesn't even lift its head while whining.
The door opens and a farmer greets the salesman.
"Hello stranger. What 'cha peddling?" says the farmer.
"Many things that I'd like to show you, but I must ask you something first. I love pets and have two dogs at home. That's why I couldn't help noticing your dog over there. He seems to be in pain. He just lays there, whines, and moans. Is he okay?"
"Oh you mean Sam over there? He's just moaning because he's lying on a couple of nails that stick out of my porch," says the farmer.
"Why doesn't he just move? Is he paralyzed?" says the perplexed salesman.
"Oh, no. He's still a great 'coon huntin' hound dog. Why he ain't movin'? Simple. You see, son, I reckon he ain't hurtin' enough yet," says the farmer.
(Like the hound dog, I guess my friend "ain't hurtin' enough yet".)
Oh well, it's his life.
And as I explained in the last article ("Experiences from 'The Flow' [16]..."), it's a supreme exercise in futility to try to change anyone. Any change in any person must be self-directed.
In my friend's case, sooner or later, something must give.
I predict that when the pain of staying grossly overshadows the effort of going (i.e., "he's hurtin' enough"), he will end the relationship.
But will he learn anything from it? I don't know.
Unfortunately, experts (psychiatrists, psychologists, social workers, etc.) will tell you that recidivism (the tendency to return to an abusive relationship or habit) is high among abused boyfriends and girlfriends.
- Going -
The "Going" friend has come to terms with the reality of his situation: an incompatible, abusive relationship that holds no hope in changing for the better.
Additionally, since my friend is a young man with no college degree, he is concerned about the future of his son.
He could work towards beefing up his resume/C.V with a teaching degree and a Thai teaching license. That would surely open the door to much higher paying jobs.
But it would be a huge challenge to attempt a college degree and license on his current English teaching salary.
He doubts that Thailand is the place he wants his child to grow up in.
Staying in Thailand would relegate him and his son to the lifestyle of the Thai middle (to lower) class.
Compared to England, Thailand is minus much of the amenities of modern living. (For examples of the differences in Western vs. Asian standards of living, please see "Experiences from 'The Flow' [7] and [8]).
The Thai Governmental Educational system especially, can not compete with the West for encouraging creative thinking and individual problem-solving.
In Thailand, Private/International schools are very, very expensive (and in my opinion, provide a much lower quality education than Western public schools).
Health insurance is something new among middle-class employees in Thailand.
But my friend's health insurance would be considered primitive by Western standards. I remember him complaining that the birth of his son and subsequent check-ups are eating him alive since they aren't covered by his insurance.
So, if my friend stays in Thailand, public school for his son and emergency-only, low-cost healthcare will be their fate.
Personally, I applaud him. It takes courage to face up to life and do something about it.
So, in less than a week, he is leaving for his home country. Also, unlike many other foreigners who father a child then vanish into thin air, he's doing the loving and honorable thing: He is taking his half-Thai/half-British son with him.
I foresee a much better future for him and his son.
The son will no longer be witness to daily arguments between his parents. He will be surrounded by my friend's family for care and support. And he will benefit from the higher standard of living and education in England.
Likewise, my friend will have a thousand more opportunities open to him in England for success.
Continued in "Experiences from 'The Flow' (18): A Good Tilt with a Bar Girl?" "Until next time, find 'The Flow' and jump in!"
Your Friend in this Intrepid Journey called Life,
Carl "J.C." Pantejo
Farang, Asia, neutral, incompatible, fear, desire, relationship, pluses, minuses, stay, go, satisfaction, scale, needs, desires.
Note: If you want to read more about Asian and Western cultural differences, finding unconditional love, exorcising past personal demons, and the Illusive Secret of Happiness, please read the following articles:
"Experiences from 'The Flow': From Heartbreak to Happiness"
"Experiences from 'The Flow' (2): Coincidence or Synchronicity: FROM RELAPSE TO MIRACLES..."
"Experiences from 'The Flow' (3): LOST AND FOUND - Kindred Spirits and Mistakes made in Haste."
"Experiences from 'The Flow' (4): LOST AND FOUND - Meant to Be?"
"Experiences from 'The Flow' (5): "The Stray"
"Experiences from 'The Flow' (6): "New Beginnings, Old Endings"
"Experiences from 'The Flow' (7) - Living Well? Farangs and Finance: The Myth"
"Experiences from 'The Flow' (8) Living Well? Farangs and Finance: The Reality, Stupidity, and Hard Knocks."
"Experiences from 'The Flow' (9): New Girlfriend, New Life."
"Experiences from 'The Flow' (10): Farangs and Asians - Polarized Views."
"Experiences from 'The Flow' (11) - Farangs: In (or considering) a long-term Western/Asian Relationship? Read This Now!
"Experiences from 'The Flow' (12) - Farang: Square Peg, Round Hole? Compatibility Issues."
"Experiences from 'The Flow' (13) - Farang: Compatibility Issues II"
"Experiences from 'The Flow' (14) - Farang: Tipping the Scales. Good or Bad?"
"Experiences from 'The Flow' (15) - Farang: Interpretation of Your Results."
"Experiences from 'The Flow' (16) - Farang: Make Your Scale Sway or Walk Away."
"How Dare She! Out of Desperation I Learned How to Forgive"
"Remember Who You Are!"
"Need to Heal Your Broken Heart? Read on. Overcome Heartbreak and Learn the Illusive Secret of Happiness." (By Carl "J.C." Pantejo and published internet-wide, keyword: [title of article] or "Carl Pantejo")
Pantejo@ynvurcepublishing.com
About the Author
He is a retired U.S. Military veteran. Believing that school was too boring, he dropped out of High School early; only to earn an A.A., B.S., and MBA in less than 4 years much later in life - while working full-time as a Navy/Marine Corps Medic. In spite of a fear of heights and deep water, he free-fall parachuted out of airplanes and performed diving ops in very deep, open ocean water.
Pantejo@ynvurcepublishing.com http://www.ynvurcepublishing.com
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